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Gifted Kids and Early Entrance to Kindergarten:

2/28/2015

Florida is on the brink of finally catching up with other states who have allowed local school districts to decide whether certain children are ready for early entrance to kindergarten, such as when their birthday falls short of the state's formal age cutoff date, or when they are academically advanced and need more challenge than preschool programming. The passage of Senate Bill 7006 will ensure that districts can evaluate students on a case by case basis, allowing these potential students a chance at beginning their formal education early, instead of making them start later and developing bad educational habits that follow them for years. This bill is a step in the right direction of giving districts local control for serving young students with academic needs at a critical time in child development. And the second step will be making sure school districts are ready to effectively screen these children when their parents and guardians come to them requesting early entrance.

Many children who start kindergarten too far after they are academically ready for the kindergarten standards find themselves in classes where the work comes easy and they are able to breeze through it without learning to struggle. They start out thinking school should be easy and they balk at challenges when things get tough. Research has shown that kids who are used to thinking of themselves as "smart" may believe that working hard means they are not as smart, so when they encounter situations where they have to work hard they shy away from the challenge. These students may begin to exhibit delay tactics when they are expected to achieve on more difficult tasks. Students who are able to easily grasp the concepts and do most of the classwork without much stress also tend to acquire behaviors such as disrupting others and being silly during the instruction or even just tuning it out and daydreaming- all habits that follow them for years and impact their ability to absorb information and function well in the school setting.

Gifted children also often come to school (at any age) with social emotional challenges due to their giftedness, that teachers should be aware of and work with them to accommodate their gifted nature and to develop better life coping skills. These students may struggle with these same gifted traits their entire lives. (Some gifted children may also be twice exceptional, what we type as "2e", which may make it particularly hard to determine whether a child is struggling with social or emotional skills or merely expressing frustration at their conflicting exceptionalities, which is another conversation altogether, albeit a much related one.)

It is important then that if local school districts will have the power of evaluating potential early entrance kindergartners, that they also recognize social emotional traits of the gifted and not use them to turn these students away whose traits may appear to be caused by immaturity to the untrained district official.

Therefore, I have developed this list of characteristics from gifted research and articles, that districts can use to help them during their screening process in order to recognize social emotional challenges that are inherent in many gifted children. This list should help evaluators recognize the possibility of a particular child needing further gifted services, and hopefully lead them to referring the child for gifted evaluation by a psychologist.

A child who is academically ready for kindergarten, but who has social emotional challenges may be more in need of kindergarten services than many other students who are not academically ready even when they meet the required age for regular entrance.

Gifted is considered a special education classification in Florida and gifted children, even those who remain formally unidentified may exhibit behaviors and quirks that require accommodation at any age. Waiting a year for them to mature may actually be detrimental to their social-emotional growth and achievement.

Keeping this in mind, districts are encouraged to admit potentially gifted 4 year olds who show a need for academic advancement (early entrance to formal education,) and whose social emotional traits are within a realm where they can benefit from being in class and will not be excessively disruptive to other students if they are given appropriate accommodations (as any other special education student.)

Here is a list of characteristics an evaluator should look for while using any formal evaluation tool the district requires while screening a child for early entrance to kindergarten in your school district:

Does the child exhibit any of the following traits?

-the child prefers to socialize with the teacher rather than students in their age range
-the child has a high level of knowledge about an issue or thing that he or she is personally interested in
-the child has a high level of vocabulary
-the child does not seem to know how to effectively engage other students in socialization activities such as working with others, sharing information, joking around, etc.
-the child is uninterested in what students their age are doing, but may be more interested in helping younger children or engaging with much older people.
-the child is much more interested in the big picture or asks many "why" and "how" questions about the way things work or fit into the world in a larger scale.
-the child seems knowledgeable about things happening in the world outside school or is very interested in social or justice issues if they are told about them.
-the child has a lot of energy and/or can be easily distracted by something that is more interesting than the lesson in class.
-the child is highly sensitive to sensory stimulation- such as smells, bright lights, loud noises, itchy clothing, bumps in their socks, etc.
-the child has a high level sense of humor.
-the child seems to enjoy arguing or finding exceptions to rules or statements.
-the child seems to constantly be challenging authority or boundaries.
-the child seems to not have common sense when it comes to "street smarts" (paying attention to safety issues or social issues,) but seems highly intelligent or attentive in areas of personal interest (asynchronous development).
-the child shows perfectionist traits.
-the child has extreme highs and lows and seems emotionally intense (Seeming to over react to emotional stimulation.)
-the child seems anxious about things even more than other children his or her age in similar situations, such as worrying about being safe in a plane if they are traveling soon, or worrying about the safety of a parent when they aren't together, or worrying about their own performance, etc.

If a child exhibits these types of behaviors they may be gifted traits and not maturity issues. It is important that the child be screened further for a need for gifted support services, and the earlier they are given access to support, the better.

Gifted students should not be screened out of academic acceleration due to gifted traits that they may never "grow out of."

It is also important that cultural traits and any impacts of low socio-economic conditions be weighed in the decision as to kindergarten readiness so that children have equitable access to early entrance regardless of the advantages or lack of advantages they have had to extra-curricular activities, the English language, and other things that may make a child appear more or less "ready" for kindergarten. Gifted children are represented in every race, culture, and economic range and no child should not be held back by stereotypes or misunderstandings.

Thank you to all of you who understand the need to make sure all students access the services they need to help them grow and thrive in our school systems. And for helping all at-risk students achieve to their best abilities. Together we can prevent students from gaining habits that will harm them for many years to come and help more student avoid falling through the cracks. Early identification and support is the key and you are on the front line.

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I Really Can See You... Finding Hidden Giftedness in Middle School Kids Who Otherwise could be Lost

2/3/2015

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By Kathleen Casper

This 13 year old kid who I will call "G" came into my life like a tornado- twirling into the classroom with so much noise and such a force that the entire room changed course. I had to wait to continue my directions about the new lesson, while G made his way around and between each row of tables and chairs, contacting every student in the room with either his words, his feet, or his swinging backpack. And once he settled down, landing in his own chair, the rest of the one hour of class was sprinkled and melded by his bursts of energy yelling out answers, falling when he tipped his chair too far backwards, throwing wadded up paper across the room towards the trash can when he couldn't get his words on the page just right, and generally ensuring he remained the center of attention until we were all saved by the bell.

"That kid shouldn't be in advanced classes," one teacher told me after she experienced the G storm. "That kid won't do any work," another teacher said later. "We need to put him in detention or maybe even in-school suspension if he won't do what we say," yet another conversation concluded.

I watched this bundle of raw energy for a couple days. They were right- he didn't have the skills to be in the highest levels of some subject area classes. As with many districts, ours mistakenly assumed gifted kids were all high achievers and made gifted classes into acceleration and fast-paced instruction that he couldn't handle since he'd obviously spent many years perfecting the art of not complying with doing assignments, or really paying much attention to anything other than opportunities to cause a scene.

"I think he is gifted," I stated at an informal meeting in the teacher lounge at lunchtime. "He is so emotional and intense and can't sit still."

"Gifted at what?" Another teacher asked. "I don't think that child is gifted at anything."

"No," I tried to explain, "not talented per say, but gifted. As in, he has gifted social-emotional characteristics and he is super smart."

The teacher shook her head. "Gifted kids should be good at something," she stated. "He doesn't seem to have high abilities in any subject." The consensus from the other teachers was that G was gifted at nothing... At DOING nothing. And they wanted to get his schedule changed.

That afternoon I pulled G aside and showed him a book I had. It was a book for the parents of gifted kids. "This is for parents," I told him. "But I think you can look at it and see things that you might identify with."

He took the book and looked at me suspiciously. "I don't want to be in gifted classes," he said adamantly. "They are way too much work."

I shook my head, "G, if you read this and think you might be gifted, as I believe, we can find a way to work with your gifted issues without making you suffer through that," I promised. He took the book home, still looking at me sideways.

I asked him the next day what he thought of the book. He said he was reading it still.

For days I asked about the book. He kept saying he was reading it. I started wondering if he lost it and just didn't want to admit it.

And then I got an email that said something that made me concernced, but also made me giggle a little and see a sliver of hope.

"I refuse to keep this kid in my class after the events of today," my fellow teaching teammate stated. "He is rude and disruptive and when I tried to get him to leave my room, he told me he doesn't care what I do because he is gifted and that Ms. Casper told him he was. And I am very upset at the insubordination and I do not know if he is gifted or not but it's not the place of a teacher to diagnose him anyway."

I was thrilled to see that G was taking this stuff seriously. And that he was making statements about something that could make a huge difference in the way he viewed his entire life, if only he could find appropriate ways to discuss the issue without making other teachers mad. I pulled him aside later when he came to my classroom.

"G, you can't be rude and disrupt the class and then blame me," I said sternly, trying not to laugh.

He nodded, "I know, but she isn't nice to me and doesn't understand me."

"She isn't going to if you act like that," I explained. But I could tell he had a break through. This kid had recognized something of himself in the descriptions in that book and he was hungry for help.

Slowly, by way of joking with him and gently redirecting his outbursts and negative self-talk, I weaseled my way into a role model role for him. When he was kicked out of other classrooms he came to my room. When he felt stressed about things other kids said or did, he came to me to talk about it. As his base of trust grew, he reached out to the other teachers, explaining his concerns better, with the advice I coached him with. And the other teachers made accommodations for his intensities, letting him sit where the noise wasn't overwhelming, giving him calm down time between classes as needed, making him into a helper so he could wiggle on walks to deliver messages... Slowly but surely G worked through many of his behavioral issues with our team of educators working beside him. The process was not perfect, and some days he reverted back to his old habits of clowning around. But the child who often spent many of his days in tears or hiding behind crossed arms on his desk before was starting to flourish.

He was a very bright child with gifted characteristics, and although the formal gifted program was not yet ready to support him (as it needed a lot of work to support most of our at-risk gifted population,) we were creating the social emotional supports he and many other kids in his same situation needed. We were taking our unidentified and under-represented kids from diverse racial and socio-economic backgrounds and giving them the support they needed to soar.

So what did this situation teach us about under served gifted kids in general?

First of all, it taught us that when an intense gifted middle schooler is under-served or isn't even identified, someone is going to suffer. It's very likely all the teachers that student encounters during his day will suffer. The other kids will suffer . And there's no doubt at all that the student himself will suffer. In fact, even the child's community will lose out.

It's probable that the teachers will think he is hyperactive and ask the parents to come to a conference where they can discuss his inability to focus or sit still. The parents will attend the meeting and nod while they hear (yet again,) how their child is not succeeding in the classroom. The teachers will say how bright the child is and how disappointed they are that he isn't living up to his potential. And the parents may agree that more needs to be done, and will decide to take the kid in for diagnosis by a doctor. The teachers will later talk with the principal and school counselor (if they haven't already,) and they will agree to set up meetings for the creation of a 504 Plan or behavioral plans, and the child will be "that" student that the next year's teachers all hope isn't on their class list.

In class, other kids will stress the outbursts or unpredictable behaviors of the unidentified gifted student, if the child is one who tried to make his needs known by raising his voice. Or if he struggles to find the right balance between being friends with the others, or being the class clown. Perhaps he has burned a lot of bridges with other students with his quirky gifted characteristics, or he is so disappointed with the way he never fits in that he is just angry or still trying too hard to be liked, that he isn't. Or maybe he is so good at being silly that the other kids enjoy him and that adds to the chaos of the classroom, when he knows just what to say to set off the flood of drama or big laughs in the middle of a lesson.

Or maybe the other kids won't even know him well at all if he is the type of kid to hide behind the veil of silence. Maybe he puts his head down a lot, or sleeps all day to avoid the chaos of middle school life or classwork he has checked out of months before and now can't catch up to. Maybe he has had such bad habits since his early childhood years when things were too easy that he never learned to struggle, and he is now afraid to ask the questions he needs to know in order to get back on track and follow the daily lessons. Or perhaps the work is still easy and he refuses to engage.

The community will miss out on the joys of having a brilliant kid who graduates and goes on to do amazing things if the unidentified gifted student isn't nurtured in the right direction. He may choose to drop out, or to take up bad habits such as self-medicating his anxiety or tendency to be depressed with drugs or alcohol. Or maybe he will be resilient, and work really hard to make it through school, while learning how to get through the tough parts. Maybe he will still graduate and go to college or do something productive with his life- but imagine how much more he might have been.

The world misses out when teachers miss the opportunity to reach through the cracks and boost a special person up to be a leader, to make grand discoveries or to help others find their own places in the scheme of humanity.

In other words, by missing one child in our attempts to identify and support gifted students, we may impact the entire universe. And at the least, we miss out on changing one child's world.

When we worked with G on his issues, we also learned something else that was just as important...

We learned that by helping a child understand the powerful energy inside him or her, that they are much more able to harness that tornado and use it to do amazing things. That by teaching a gifted child that they are not alone- that their confusing and sometimes overwhelming feelings stem from the way their brains developed and the way they see the world so differently than other kids- you give them hope and help them build back up their self confidence. Gifted kids who don't understand why they are different are often so buried under their own negative self-talk, that they need help digging their way out.

But once they understand that there are others like them, and they learn coping skills, they have a chance to push their lives in a positive direction, and they can use their new skills to help get them there.

And when the child uses this new knowledge to change their own view of themselves, other people notice and react positively to the different attitude and self-confidence. Even if they don't understand what gifted kids need, or how gifted kids act, by encouraging the child to advocate effectively and strongly with appropriate behaviors, the people around him or her will react in ways that reinforce the positive changes.

So in essence, having one person believe in that one child enough to show them resources and lead them to the "water trough," and provide that stable and safe place in the world for the child to start again from, amazing things can be put into motion.

Some people say that early childhood is when kids are most able to absorb new information and learn the most. And by middle school the kids have acquired bad habits that will be hard to change. But I think it is never too late to help a child recognize their own traits and needs. Middle school kids are old enough to have habits that may be harder to change, but they also are smart and independent enough to take information and make it their own.

G isn't the only person who has ever changed their outlook on life after recognizing they might actually be gifted. He is just one of the ones I think might have fallen trough the cracks if I hadn't found him. And I know there are so many others like him out there, just waiting for us to reach out and see them for who they really are.

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Missing Pieces: Gifted Adults and Long-Term Relationship Issues, By Kathleen Casper

2/1/2015

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My latest blog post is one that may be more controversial than gifted issues already are. I publish it in the hopes it will help other gifted adults who struggle with keeping their relationships afloat, and make it more ok for us to talk about this type of thing. The discussions about failing marriages and partners who just can't seem to "make it work" are rampant behind the scenes in any social situation- water cooler discussions at work, stories shared at restaurants and bars after work, in locker rooms at the gym, and along the sidelines at sporting events. We talk about not always feeling content and we all know when a friend isn't... But why is it that so many gifted adults express the idea that they are "missing something"? Could it be that gifted traits also include a tendency to outgrow our partners or to develop so intensely in some areas and so slowly in others that we leave our partners behind? Should the characteristics lists also include a need for novelty and intellectual and emotional stimulation that causes an overwhelming struggle their whole life to achieve? The dark side (or light side, depending on your point of view,) of the empathy and deep emotions we have as gifted people that help us want to save the world and make a difference in the lives of others, may be a related need for connection and making a difference at the utmost emotional relationships we have ourselves.

My friend once told me about an event she attended with several other leaders in the field of gifted education. As they were sitting and talking with each other, a theme started to emerge in their discussion regarding the many years they each had spent looking for deep connections that would result in long term romantic relationships. Out of everyone in the group the vast majority were on their second or third marriages. And they all spoke of trying to find something that seemed to be missing in their life that their first marriages did not satisfy.

The reason my friend was telling me about this revelation and their interesting discussion at that event was because she also was on her third marriage and I was questioning whether I should stay in my second.

I've kept our discussion in mind as I ventured forth into the world since that time. And I continually meet intense gifted women and men who have had multiple marriages and unsatisfactory relationships. Perhaps because I am looking for such examples, but also perhaps it is that being an intense gifted person often leads to having a love life that is never satisfying enough- or at least that takes quite a while to perfect.

There are always exceptions. I know several very intelligent people who seem to be (and have been determined formally to be) gifted who are happily content with their first and only marriage. I am constantly in awe of this type of specimen. I imagine that these people fall into another type of gifted adult category that is different than my own, and that of my multi – marriage friends. Perhaps they are less emotionally intense. Or they have strong convictions (religious, familial, or otherwise,) that they can somehow follow better than others do. Or maybe they are more introverted or possess other characteristics that help them settle down with one person at home and truly be content.

I'm actually not sure what the difference is, and I'm not sure if I envy them or pity them. (And of course that depends on my mood!) And who is to say how happy they are, or how long it will be before they too are on to another relationship. You never know how truly happy someone is. And sometimes you don't even know how unhappy you are until you see or feel something else that you believe will make you happier.

So what is it that makes gifted women continue to search the world for something that they claim is missing in their hearts? And how long does it take after meeting someone who they once thought was "their missing piece" before they realize they are still missing something?

And more importantly, is it possible to actually find the real missing piece at some point and live "happily ever after?" Is there only one piece missing- or do we put many missing pieces together with many different people over time?

I have spent a lot of time researching relationship issues and thinking about gifted adult relationships. And yet I am still left pondering the same questions I started with. All relationships are complicated. And gifted people tend to gravitate towards complex issues and high-level thinking patterns. Just as it is often stated regarding gifted children, gifted adults create their own complexities in life to keep their brains busy- be it learning new information, traveling, meeting new people, and/or trying new things. The search for someone who can keep up with an intense gifted person and continue to challenge and stimulate their minds is a difficult one. And with the statistics showing that gifted people are only the top 2 to 5% of the population, and that people usually gravitate to others within 10% of their own IQs, it's no wonder that a gifted adult may struggle to find a good match.

It would be very interesting to study divorces and the correlation with intelligence. However there are more variables that go with divorce than intellect. Things such as socio-economic status, extended family and friends relationships and support, children's issues, religious issues, and other issues most definitely play a role in any relationship. But after isolating those issues, the question could be discussed and analyzed regarding whether there are more multiple marriages and divorces within the population of individuals with high intellect and gifted characteristics and traits, or not.

There is a lack of research about the "missing pieces" that gifted women (and probably men) are looking for that they are not finding in their first relationships. A survey of gifted individuals who divorced their first spouses could help us isolate the most popular issues in such doomed relationships.

One possible hypothesis regarding the "missing pieces" is that first marriages are often based on superficial relationship indicators like attractive looks and those who are socializing in similar age groups at that particular time (such as in friendship circles during high school and college study years), as well as limits such as geographical location. Many first, young-adult courtships begin from working relationships between people in the same jobs (which may or may not be the jobs that they "want to be when they grow up," and often are jobs of convenience when people are just starting out.)

As gifted people grow up and develop they go through many stages of intellectual and social-emotional growth that out paces other individuals who may not be gifted or who have different types of intensities and focus/interest areas. This is due to the different way gifted brains process information (brains of those with high intellect had characteristics that differed from other brains, including a cortex that thickened and thinned at different times and during different ages than others. How the Gifted Brain Learns, D.A. Sousa, http://www.corwin.com/upm-data/32712_Sousa_%2528Gifted_Brain%2529__Ch1.pdf) and the asynchrony that often presents along with high intellect (gifted children experience inner experiences that cause them to present as many different levels or ages depending on the situations. Many Ages at Once, L. Rivera, https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/creative-synthesis/201201/many-ages-once).

Some personality types and gifted intensities may work better with other people's gifted characteristics and intensities. A Myers Briggs personality test may not adequately measure a gifted person's compatibility with another person because it does not take into consideration the overexcitabilities and the intense reactions and quick growth (both emotionally and academically) of a gifted individual.

Another personality issue that may come up in gifted adult relationships is the issue of novelty. It is quite possible that beginning relationships settle into the monotony of real life quicker then gifted young adults are ready for. So the combination of immaturity, the regular stresses of any new marriage (including financial and communication hurdles that occur when living with anyone for the first time,) combined with the gifted person/s' need for interesting and new experiences may create extraordinary stress on individuals who may not have the coping skills for it.

And then there is the issue of risk-taking. Some gifted people with emotional intensities also tend to search for situations that create the adrenaline rush and challenge that gives them new things to think about and explore. Risk-taking is a way of creating complexities and pushing the limits of socially acceptable behavior and can be done in both positive and negative ways. Those gifted individuals who continue to pursue academic and career goals against the odds are seeking rewards that are socially acceptable and encouraged; while those who are doing illegal activities like taking drugs or stealing would be considered as acting outside of socially acceptable norms. In any relationship there is an element of risk- it's not guaranteed that your relationship will last forever or that each of you will take the same care of the children if you even have any, or that you will make it through the multitude of dangers in life and survive the next ten years. But when the individuals have a mismatch of how risk-tolerant they are it can create many problems with mistrust and fear and even financial dilemmas. First marriages are built during the formative years- the years while both parties are still figuring out their own risk levels and testing relationship boundaries.

Some spouses may continue to take more risks than the others do, and disagreements regarding morality, loyalties, and acceptable behaviors create strife. A strong marriage or partnership may be able sustain continued disagreements or violations of trust, but sometimes the ability to balance the disagreements and disappointments that come from crossed boundaries and broken trust with the long term love and commitment to the relationship come after a person has already experienced failure. Therefore, relationships that we start later in life may have more accepting and forgiving characteristics if the spouses have lived through past relationships where they gave up too early on someone who did something they considered unacceptable such as had an affair, lost control of finances, had addiction issues, etc. Often people enter partnerships believing that these types of behaviors should not be tolerated and we create hard lines and walk away from imperfections more easily. But when they are older and have experienced more of life's hard knocks, they may be more accepting of others' disgraces and more willing to be a friend and partner than just a spouse.

Committed relationships are a lot of work. The day to day life with a highly intelligent, intense, and active gifted person is even harder than most outside of the relationship may ever imagine. Gifted characteristics create anxieties and emotional highs and lows that rival many mental disorders at times (there are entire books on these issues alone, and a national initiative to combat mental/medical misdiagnosis in gifted people is ongoing.) The social skill gaps and a gifted person's ability to focus on something regardless of what else is going on around them are just a few problems that may flare up. And then if more than one spouse is gifted, multiply the affects of each of their intensities exponentially. (And if gifted children are involved too, the statistical probability of moments of stress goes through the roof.)

There is also an issue of gifted people who find love with those who are not gifted. Misunderstandings are likely, due to the different ways each has experienced the world throughout their lives, and there may be clashes stemming from energy level mismatches depending on the gifted person's intensities. On the other hand, having one partner who is more centered and flexible may be a good balance if the other spouse is bouncing off the walls with desire to change the world or having intense moments that affect the pace or the emotional levels in the home. And then there is always the issue of whose definition of gifted they are using- some gifted adults don't even know they are gifted because they were never tested, or because they were a classic underperforming gifted student and the identification process was based on stereotypical high performer characteristics. Make no assumptions- the gifted vs. not gifted issue is one that is hard to determine as testing and identification methods are not error proof. But at the end of the day, the partners will figure out pretty quickly if they have a personality compatibility issue- regardless of whether they are both gifted or not.

Most gifted people have problems with communicating their needs and problems with people they live with at one time or another (there are multiple books on how to raise gifted children or deal with gifted traits.) Just like anyone living together for the first time- it takes a while to really figure out a routine and to be comfortable with someone else in your home. And when gifted characteristics are added to the mix it can be even harder.

Being gifted includes a constant patchwork of thoughts, actions and events that come together in new ways like kaleidoscope pictures. Every day something new is added- a lesson learned, a new item for a wish list or hope chest, a failure to grow from, a success to build confidence... The experiences that build people also sometimes build them away from those who are growing beside them. Gifted people grow at different rates and often gifted people cannot stop from searching for new experiences that challenge them and make them think hard about interesting things. If a gifted partner grows at a different rate or in a different direction, it is most likely going to create stress. And if the growth is big enough or in the opposite direction enough from what the other partner is doing then it becomes less and less likely that they will find the way back to common ground. No matter how much someone cares about someone else, if at some point they no longer have those common interests and are reaching for different types of goals they will suffer and possibly will not be able to hold on to their relationships. Someone more in touch with their interests and their needs may come along, or perhaps they will just need the space and yearn for a life without needing to constantly justify their interests.

Gifted people need several things in order to continue on a path with a partner. (This list includes some, but not all of the situations and characteristics that are important in a gifted relationship and not all apply to everyone.):

-support for a constant quest for new information (allowing for informal and possibly even formal education experiences,)
-novel situations and explorations (travel, surprises, new ways of showing their partner is aware of their interests and desires,)
-patience (for intensities, asynchronies, anxieties, passions, etc.)
-humor (quick wit, the ability to laugh at otherwise stressful situations, entertaining stories, etc.)
-independence (a lack of codependency that hinders intellectual growth and exploration, other interests that add to novelty and learning, etc.)
-flexibility (allowing for change to happen over time as they both grow)
-intellect (a match of common intelligence- research says relationship matches within 10 IQ points is ideal.)
-common interests (these will evolve and change over time as new interests likely will appear and old interests will diminish in appeal, but both partners should enjoy many of the things they do together and have common topics for discussions to help them see each other's as partners.)

Life as a gifted person can be intense and full of ups and downs related to social and emotional responses that are deep and moving experiences. Research shows the gIfted adults who are in satisfying relationships experience better health and have more confidence than those who do not have close friends or partners. Yet gifted people are definitely contributing to divorce statistics and may have multiple longer term relationships during their lives.

Further study on this subject is recommended so as to explore whether there are ways to promote better relationship matches between gifted adults or therapy that can be used to encourage gifted adults to mend the relationships they would otherwise separate from. In the meanwhile, gifted adults should be aware of the possibility of encountering difficulties and focus on increasing their connections before their relationships get so difficult they want to leave. And those who do leave and struggle to find that "missing piece" can take solace in knowing they are not alone.

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Kathleen Casper

Kathleen Casper is the Florida Association for the Gifted (FLAG) president. She recently left the position of the state gifted education specialist at the Florida Department of Education and is excited to now be working as a gifted education consultant and providing support to gifted preschool and homeschool children and families. She also continues working virtually as a part time attorney specializing in family and education law for clients in Washington State and federal courts in WA and FL.

Kathleen is an award winning educator in both Florida and Washington State, certified in multiple endorsement areas including gifted education, and has taught from K-12 in many schools and programs. She spent many years on the board of SENG (Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted, www.SENGifted.org) as a director as well as the secretary on the executive committee. She was on the conference planning committee for the National Association for Gifted Children (NAGC) while planning the 2016 conference in Florida. She is the former vice president of the Washington Association for Educators of the Talented and Gifted (www.waetag.net), the former legislative committee chair of FLAG, as well as the former Highly Capable Facilitator for Tacoma Public Schools.

Please join us on the OneWorldGiffted Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/Oneworld-Gifted-475374679239353/

Gifted Kids and Early Entrance to Kindergarten:

I Really Can See You... Finding Hidden Giftedness in Middle School Kids Who Otherwise could be Lost

Missing Pieces: Gifted Adults and Long-Term Relationship Issues, By Kathleen Casper

Kathleen Casper

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